Always young and always tearful
Chen Jiangtao, Mingde Academy
Chen Jiangtao, female, Han nationality, born in August 1999, a member of the Communist Youth League, is a 2018 student majoring in law in Mingde College of Beijing University of technology.
I don't know when college students began to be generally linked with "anxiety", "Buddhist life", "funeral culture", etc. Search the keyword of "College Students' funeral culture" on bing.com, and the search engine can display 802000 results in one second. This seems to mean that many people start to get confused after entering university, or even start to live in chaos. This may also mean that when we look up at the silent starry sky above us, we may see some speechless story and hear someone's silent sigh.
In fact, at the beginning of University, I almost fell into the strange circle of College Students' anxiety and "bereavement culture". First time away from parents, first time completely independent life, first time contact with courses with new learning requirements For the first time, too many challenges were brought along as well as novelty. The unknown and confusion of the future after the attempt made the invisible pressure envelop my life, just like the spider silk with dew. It was obviously just like a paradox, but it seemed to bind people. At this time last year, I was faced with the dilemma of hard listening to lectures in the course of principles of economics but unable to fully understand the knowledge points; I felt at a loss in the face of all kinds of student work after entering the outreach Department of the student union for the first time; even when my time management ability was low, I was dominated by several tasks at the same time. At that time, I was strong but confused. I've seen Beijing at 4 a.m. and I've been alone on the long steps behind the library. The difficulties of study and the confusion of the road ahead have all turned into my silent sigh.
Later, in a video chat with her mother, she found out that I was unhappy and asked why. I just vaguely said that I was in a bad mood due to too much pressure recently, but my mother did not change to the next topic, but asked me what kind of pressure I was patiently. I thought about it, but I couldn't give a specific name. At last, I could only reply to my mother and say, "I don't feel very specific pressure, but I always feel very anxious. I don't know if what I'm doing is useful or worthwhile." The mother thought for a moment, then asked, "what is useful and what is worth to you?"
After this question, I seem to find the crux of myself in a flash: I never seriously think about what I really want, but blindly copy what most people are doing mechanically on myself, but I am afraid of failure and dare not do my best, so as to kill my positive and optimistic life and become full of frustration and depression. My mother didn't say much later, but said to me: "think more about things, life will be more organized. But in fact, it's not easy to think too much, and you can't walk out of your own side of the world. "
Sometimes it takes a long time to grow up, but sometimes it only takes a moment. I often chat with my mother. Every time I chat, I get something. That seemingly casual long talk on the steps untied my so-called anxiety knot: I just dreamt about the unknown and danger of the future, I just "thought too much", but I didn't have a strong heart to promote myself to take the road that I am going now. I was afraid of failure and didn't try my best, because of the fuzzy future planning and the lack of orderly control of the present; I was too concerned about the success or failure to fear the hands and feet, so I couldn't do my best without goals. Without the love and passion with tears in my eyes, I can't change myself. How can I realize my original dream at the bottom of my heart? There are infinite possibilities in life, and each one is wonderful enough. If I could, I would like to fall in love with that hard but hard day.
After that long talk, I packed my bags and started again. When they encounter difficulties in study, they try their best to gnaw at the hard bone. They take notes one by one, holding the computer to ask the elder sister without mathematics for knowledge analysis and discipline logic. When students encounter problems in work, they actively solve them, practice more, consult more teachers, think about possible problems in advance, and be ready to deal with emergencies on the spot. If the time management ability is poor, use app or manual account to plan the event arrangement in different time periods, and gradually exercise your time allocation ability and focus ability. I try to change a little bit in practice, and more importantly, I began to pay attention to my psychological construction consciously, and began to cultivate myself to have a stronger heart. I urge myself to treat everyone with full enthusiasm, treat everything with self-discipline and seriousness, and face all my challenges with courage.
After unremitting efforts, I ranked first in the comprehensive ranking of the second semester of the first year of undergraduate. In terms of after-school life, I have participated in the preparation of "late autumn song festival", the largest recreational and sports activity of Beijing Institute of Technology, organized the college orientation party, organized the class moral education topic, assisted the teachers to complete the "overseas plan" visit activities, and conducted the defense of "source plan" back to school publicity activities across the college. I also took an active part in the speech contest of the school and won the excellent prize, striving for the opportunity to act as the host of the college level Xu Teli scholarship defense meeting to exercise my adaptability. As the class monitor, I encourage students to participate in the tug of war competition to cultivate class cohesion, volunteer with you to serve the campus and repay the society. Even as a liberal arts student, he tried to form a team to participate in the mathematical modeling competition, and felt the creative spark generated by the collision of liberal arts and science thinking in the cooperation with students of science and engineering. Now I look back at my life in Beijing University of technology, every day is shining in my memory.
I've never been a smart enough person. All I have is a passion. I know I can't be a very excellent person, but I can also tell myself proudly and tell everyone that I'm trying my best to walk out of depression and coldness in the University's self ferry and go to the distance where I want to go. On the stage of Beijing University of science and technology for students' development, I keep trying and challenging myself, just because I want to always uphold a passion in my life, full of childishness, not afraid of the difficulties and dangers ahead, but go all the way. I like Mr. Lu Xun's words very much: "I wish Chinese youth would get rid of the cold air, just go up, and don't have to listen to the words of those who abandon themselves. Can do things, can make a voice. A minute of heat, a minute of light, will make the firefly general, can also send a little light in the dark, do not have to wait for the torch. "
Youth is precious. You should try whatever you like. When you do your best, you will succeed or fail. Passion is precious. The motivation to change the world may be the little fire in his heart at first. When one looks back at the past, all the circumstances will become a casual sentence after decades of time, so there is no need to worry about the success or failure of success or failure, but if I don't do my best at the moment, I will only know if I feel sorry and embarrassed. Maybe one day I can read the sentence "I don't know the sky is in the water after I'm drunk, the boat is full of clear dreams and the stars are crushed". I can also smile with a broad smile, and I'm calm and have no mustard.
I only hope that I can live a happy life, do my best for my dream, and contribute my own efforts to our country and society.
May we all be young and tearful forever.